Research & Literature

The ‘me too.’ Movement presents this collection of resources as one of the many places you can start your healing journey. Whether you find a memoir that lets you go inside the mind of an actual survivor through their first-person account of harm and healing, or you want to read up on statistics and research that can propel your own healing or activism, this ever-expanding library is for you.

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End Silenced Abuse: Tell Somebody

Aleesha Barlow with Shalonda SJ Johnson, The TMG Firm, LLC , Memoir/Biography/Autobiography

In this era of social media, the author’s Tell Somebody, Inc. organization, founded in 2015 because of the sexual abuse she experienced as a child in the early 1990s, has helped energize a movement, not unlike the energy Alyssa Milano’s 2017 tweet helped attract to Tarana Burke’s 2006 Me Too Movement.

While the first half of the book shares the details of the abuse and the lack of support she received from family members, the second half tells her inspiring journey described by Oprah Winfrey as, “You are a perfect role model for turning pain into power.” The first half is a difficult read; however, it is in the second half where that transition is most evident and can be appreciated for the potential to support others. Aleesha Barlow states, “More often than not, Tell Somebody affords me the opportunity to interact with survivors, like myself, or to focus on prevention.”

Given that the focus is on childhood sexual abuse, perhaps the book should come with a trigger warning, particularly due to the cover featuring a photo of a young girl. Also, chapter subject headers would be helpful for those who need to read about how they can be helped, rather than re-living someone else’s story.

Overall this book is a worthwhile read that would be better served by a revision of the packaging, especially interior layout, and less details of the horrific abuse. Hopefully, this book provides another opportunity for healing for Aleesha and her brother, as well as for other victims of childhood sexual abuse.

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Family Secrets

Billie Jean Young (as told to her by Jay Peay), Wingate Books, 2014, Memoir/Biography/Autobiography

Family Secrets, by Billie Jean Young, is the story of Jaye Peay, a woman whose husband had sex with their daughter. Set in the Caribbean, the writer immediately pulls you into the story with the rushed plans Jaye is making to escape with her children to the US. At first you think she’s running away from a physically abusive situation. When she admits her husband Amite has never physically abused her nor their children, and that he is not even the primary breadwinner, you wonder why the fear and urgency? The details brilliantly unravel.

Ultimately, this is the story about a smart woman backtracking over her life to see how she fell under the control of a man like Amite. In Jaye’s case, part of it is cultural, and the other part is intentional conditioning by Amite to place his needs above all others.

Only after her daughter is admitted to the hospital for a condition caused by engaging in active sex does Jaye move past her shame, reaching out to a friend for help.

When she safely escapes to her new home, the first item on her to-do list was to register her daughter for therapy. At first resentful, the daughter eventually opens up about her dad’s abuse. When Jaye reads the detailed report about everything that happened, unable to escape complicity, she breaks down. “Seeing myself described was too much for me.”

I highly recommend this book with a stern trigger warning for survivors of incest.

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From Ashes to Angel’s Dust: A Journey Through Womanhood

Zoe Flowers, Balboa Press, 2017, Non-fiction

From Ashes to Angel’s Dust: A Journey Through Womanhood chronicles domestic abuse using poetry, storytelling, first-person interviews, and statistical data. It opens with the poem “Children At War” – a creative entrance onto a difficult, 197-page trek, where the predominant theme is “you are not alone.”

Several of the poems partnered the shame of abuse with the resilience of black women. “We Black Girlz,” for example, talks about “how black don’t crack”, a reference to our skin and our will to survive, despite being knocked down by both society and our significant others. “For Anne Sexton 1” offers a grave snapshot of domestic violence in the following line: “Her insecurity comforts and is home to his selfishness.”

One critique of the book would be how, from the title, one expects a balance of stories about “a journey through womanhood.” Instead, this book is an anthology of abuse narratives, many of which sound like the same experience but in different cities.

Despite its shortcomings, this book portrays a history of all the many reasons the system needs to evolve. From empathy training for police to reformed gender narratives in school curriculums, each story proves how now that we know better we must do better.

The author closes with seven good exercises for readers and ends with a statement on the importance of taking personal responsibility for one’s well-being: “Instead of constantly replaying everything that isn’t the way we wish, practice letting go and freeing yourself, now.” Indeed.

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